First, what is chutzpah?  (huts•pah) It is boldness coupled with supreme self-confidence. An old Yiddish joke illustrates the power of chutzpah:

A man murders his mother and father. Then he throws himself on the mercy of the court because he’s an orphan.

Now that’s chutzpah!

Chutzpah marketing is business boldness coupled with supreme self-confidence. It is the art of doing something right, fairly, and with value.

Business is said to be cutthroat, but that is not what I am teaching. I am talking about being basically lazy and getting a lot done. I want you to do what works, and skip the aggravation of wasted effort. A chutzpah marketer doesn’t waste time or money. She works hard and plays hard while loving it all. She has clear goals and follows them. She looks at her options and makes only well informed decisions. Once a decision is made she does not second-guess herself.  She is confident that she did her homework and is now following a sound course of action.  A chutzpah marketer can make a decision. She is task oriented and prides herself on task completion.

A chutzpah marketer won’t spend a dime if 9¢ will do. But, she is not cheap. She is value oriented. When making purchases she is value conscious. She is future oriented and sees that she is investing in her business, not merely spending money.

A chutzpah marketer is ethical. She carefully abides by the ethical standards of her profession. The ethical standards are incorporated into the very foundation of her business plan.

Please let me tell you a story.

Uncle Sol had a tough life. It started in northern Europe. His family was encouraged to move by the Cossacks. This took the family to central Europe. In time, he and his family were invited to relocate by the Nazis. They spent everything they had to get to America in 1942.

Uncle Sol found himself in New York City with no job, no money, and a distinctively thick Yiddish accent.

Uncle Sol had always been a salesman. So, he went to the biggest store in town and tried to put in an employment application.

“This turned out not to be so easy,” Sol told his friend Moesha.

“So, how did you get the job?” Moesha asked.

“Vell I went to the head of the employment department and I said, ‘I know you don’t know me from Moses, but I’m a really good salesman.’”

“The boss man was not so impressed with me so I said, ‘Look, you must have a department that isn’t making its money for you, give me a chance. I’ll work for free for a month. If at the end of the month, you don’t like my work, you say, ‘Sol, sorry but it didn’t work out.’ And I go. No hard feelings. You didn’t pay me a penny. What do you have to lose? But, if I make you lots of money, you pay me, and I keep making you lots of money.’”

“The boss thought it over a bit and said to me, ‘The fishing department is the worst department in the store. Can you sell fishing equipment?’”

“Can I sell fishing equipment?” I told the boss. “Can a fish swim?”

Over the next two weeks the sales in the fishing department went up steadily. By the third week, the boss man was so curious about how Uncle Sol was achieving such numbers, he went down to investigate. He hid behind a display case and listened.

“Vell, that is a pretty good hook,” Uncle Sol told a middle-aged man. “But I don’t think it is right for you. It’s pretty good, but this bronze tip hook over here, it only costs 11 cents a box more, but it can really hold a fish.”

“I’ll take it,” the man said.

“What do you fish with?” Uncle Sol asked.

“A bamboo pole…”

“A bamboo pole!” Uncle Sol said as he took the brass tipped hooks from the man. “You don’t need these. With your pole, why bother… you couldn’t land a big fish with an old bamboo pole.”

“Really? But I want them,” the man said as he took back his brass tipped hooks from Uncle Sol.

“You need a Flexi Bow 17Xr5. It’s pricey, but with those hooks…”

The man took hold of the rod.

“Where do you fish from?” Uncle Sol inquired.

“Down at Staten bea…”

Uncle Sol grabbed back the fishing pole. “From the beach! You don’t need the Flexi Bow to fish from shore… Who fishes from dirt?”

The man snatched back his fishing pole. “I want to use this pole!”

“But for that pole you’re going to need to be out where the big fish live. That pole is for people who want to catch the big fish. You’ll need the Wave Crasher xz1000.”

All this time the boss man was listening intensely. He had never seen such a skilled salesman.

At closing the boss man went to see Uncle Sol.

“You have the job,” he said as he shook Uncle Sol’s hand. “I saw you sell the Wave Crasher xz1000 today, the most expensive item in the department. I still can’t believe it, a customer came in for a fishing hook, and you sold him a boat! Amazing!”

“A fishing hook, no, no, no, he no come in for a fishing hook,” Uncle Sol said.

“Really, but I saw…”

“No one comes into this store for fishing hooks. We’re in the basement, no one knows we’re even here. So I have to go upstairs and get them.” Uncle Sol said.

“Upstairs?”

“Sure, upstairs. I went up to the pharmacy department and this nice man was buying some lady monthly products so I said to him. ‘I see you’re no having any fun this weekend, do you fish?’”

 

Uncle Sol had Chutzpah: business boldness coupled with supreme self-confidence.

 

Are you allowed to build a business and make an impressive living? Are you allowed to afford amazing vacations, retirement plans, and a second home?

The simple answer is yes!

So let’s get started on getting you lots more paying customers that talk highly of your work and subsequently get you even more paying customers.

Find more stories about Uncle Sol in Dr. Copitch' joke book:

Jokes I Told My Therapist, Plus Cartoons: Tall Tales, and Funny True Stories

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